Regret, Rejection and Memories

This is my English assignment:

Reuben Lowing, Regret, Rejection and Memories

1.       Regret

Isaac Rodriguez was a support technician for (SEAL) swimmer delivery vehicle Team Two and he was well liked and even though he was skinny he was wiry and a very fast runner. Isaac went through BUD/s (SEAL) training. Isaac upon graduation from BUD/s training was assigned to SEAL Team Four and deployed to Panama as an augmentation in 1989. I was already deployed to Panama with SEAL Team Four Delta Platoon and Isaac and I were roommates. I was a good runner averaging six minutes per mile and Isaac would leave me in the dust. He was very encouraging. I was boxing and training for the All Navy Boxing team training camp once I got back to Virginia Beach in January and even though Isaac wasn’t a boxer he loved boxing and the thought it was great that I was going to go to the training camp. one night I was doing an abdominal workout just outside of our room and Isaac was talking to and encouraging one of the other guys in his platoon who wanted to try out for a pro-football team and Isaac was being the usual encourager to him and this guy mentioned to Isaac “They don’t pay us shit, they send us all over the world risking our lives” and Isaac said “I would be honored to give my give my life for my country.” I took notice of Isaac’s comment and continued my workout. Then December 17^th my platoon redeployed back to Virginia Beach and I got to work out with the Navy boxing Team for two days and then we were recalled back to Panama after the Panamanian killed a US Serviceman. We had practiced taking over Punta Paitilla Airfield in down town Panama City Panama right on the coast. Three SEAL Platoons in Zodiac rubber raiding craft transited across the bay of Panama just off of the airfield and we received orders to not only attach the airfield an hour earlier but thy wanted us to change our whole battel plan which meant that we would have to patrol up the runway and shoot the tires and struts of General Noriega’s jet with 7.62 machinegun fire. Isaac’s platoon and Gulf platoon would file up the runway with one squad of Bravo abreast in front of Gulf Platoon and the other squad of Bravo abreast behind Gulf platoon and Gulf Platoon would he in single file so they would be in a skirmish line in front for the hanger and General Noriega’s jet. My Platoon Delta would be on the other side of the runway securing east said with the entrance into the airfield the tower. Things happened very fast, one I got off of the boat we were having to sprint up the runway. I weighed 140 lbs and as the radioman for my squad I was carrying 110 lbs of bullets, water and radio Gulf platoon had engaged Noriega’s security team. The Uesat and Israeli trained anti-terrorist team who served as his body guards. I could hear the shooting start as I sprinted up the runway. I could see bullets ricocheting across the tarmac in front of me and remember making a conscious effort to pick my feet up higher and faster. Then I could hear Lt Conner the OIC of Bravo platoon screaming in my headset “I am hit, I’m hit!” My heart was pounding in my throat. I got to my designated position guarding the entrance to the runway and the control tower. The rate of fire across the runway was so intense the ground was shaking. Several of my platoon mates ran across to assist and as soon as they got online they launched 40 mm grenades into the hanger. BOOM! BOOM! Then my OIC came over and pulled myself and Jim Schombs the 60 gunner in to join the battle. I hadn’t taken three steps and there on the ground was Isaac, lying on the asphalt with his camouflage shirt torn open and a bloody bullet wound in the lower half of his left chest and we made direct eye contact. I felt the air come out of my lungs in shock and my body lock up like I had been zapped with 120 volts of electricity. I could tell he was in shock by the way his eyes looked, bloodshot and dilated. Moe Petitt the chief Corpsman was already working on him and I decided to keep moving and join the fire fight. As soon as Jim and I got online they called a cease fire. There were bodies lying everywhere, it was like a bus accident. I help Kim Torgerson who had been shot in the shin and took him to triage. Then I went to help Kieth Morris carry someone, I didn’t know if they were dead or alive but they were heavy. Kieth and I turned them over to take off their H-gear and it was Don McFall my former chief of Delta platoon. He was already dead. We took him over and laid his body next to Lt Conner’s. Then were went back to grab Henry Tilman and he was a big guy and fully loaded with M-60 gear and ammunition. He was even heavier and Kieth and I both let go of him at the same time and his head hit the ground like a bowling ball. I felt sick to my stomach but Kieth said “Oh shit! Well he is already dead”. Then we got into a perimeter and waited. Being a radioman I had to keep track of the time and it took two hours for the medivac helicopter arrive. The next day we were augmented by guys from SEAL Team Six and they told us that Isaac died on the way to the hospital. Only after years of therapy was I able to rationalize way the guilt for not stopping to help Isaac. I can still see his eyes looking at me with desperation. I breakout in shingles now every time I hear about one of my SEAL buddies getting killed in Iraq or Afghanistan. 

2.       Judgement

After the invasion of Panama was over I went back to Virginia Beach and I took two weeks leave and went home for Christmas and then I accepted my orders to the All Navy Boxing training camp. Myself and one other Navy SEAL from SEAL Team Two attended the camp and after the first week of sparring I was the only white guy at the camp. This was not unusual, I had been the only white boxer in every gym I had trained in since I left Michigan in 1981 to join the Navy. However this was different. Before when I was in Pensacola Florida training with Roy Jones Sr. and Roy Jones Jr. I was well liked because I was a white boy who could fight. Then in 1987 when I was a walk on to the Navy Boxing Team I received the same kind of respect and acceptance. This was different, most of the guys at the camp were from more northern areas of the United States, New York, DC, Maryland, St. Louis, Philadelphia and Detroit. They had a perception that I had only seen back in Michigan where I was told “You don’t want to fight a black guy, they have an extra muscle in their but that makes them hit harder” I believed this until the first time I sparred with a black guy and I realized that I could hit them as hard as I could hit anyone else. I was familiar with Coach John Hunter, I fought for him in 1987 but this year Dick Pettigrew was the head coach. Dick’s claim to fame was that he was the guy who broke his thumb in 1968 so Joe Frazer went to the Olympics in his place and won a God Medal. Dick wasn’t much on technique but big on conditioning. He would have us run a mile to the beach on Naval Amphibious Base Little Creek and then run four miles in the sand. I was in really good shape just coming back from six months in Panama and I was a Navy SEAL, there was no way I was going to let anyone beat me running in the sand and I would always be the first one finished with my run. Coach Pettigrew would park the MWR van at the entrance to the beach and count our laps every morning. He would always smile at me and tell me “Good Job SEAL”. Every time we went to a boxing show I got to fight. That wasn’t the case with everyone else. Also Tyrone Smith was at the camp and he used to train with Roy Jones too before I join the SEAL Teams and he joined the Navy. Tyrone, myself and a couple of other guys had report but the rest just couldn’t deal with a white guy beating them running and in the ring.

3.       Delta Platoon

Attached is a photo of myself and member of Delta Platoon from SEAL Team Four in front of a Russian Puma Helicopter that we used as a free fall platform. Raul Valdez, Mike Haven, DB Hayes, Woodie Mister, Jose Henao, Regan Stratman, Matt Kelm and Pudge Evans. This was June of 1989 prior to Operation Just Cause in Panama. We were part of a joint special operations mission with the US Army Special Forces, Air Force Combat Controllers and our Chilean counterparts. We made four free fall parachute jumps that day south of Santiago Chile on the coast. I had the best duty on this exercise, I got to be part of the OP-4 which were the opposition element. It was like being Hogan’s Heroes.  I was with 40 Chilean Special Operations operatives for two weeks. None of them spoke English and all I knew how to do is say “Como Si Dice” and point at things. By the end of the two weeks we were having conversations and joking around with each other.